Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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