Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
