So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Someone shit on the floor
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
