...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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