he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
