I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My feet surprised me
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
