Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
