yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
