goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
