: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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