We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
