Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
