I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize