Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
