How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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