I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
