it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
