Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize