I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize