Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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