i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
