the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
