I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
