..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
