Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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