Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize