butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize