it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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