I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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