We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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