Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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