I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just google imaged poop.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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