Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
