my vag is so smooth its legendary
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
