Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
