I want to stick my p in your. b.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize