Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We are two peas in an std pod
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
