I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
