yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize