eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
