Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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