its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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