i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The struggles of a small town man whore
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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