Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
