oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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