its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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