the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
