i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
