yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
