haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
