I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
