Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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