The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
