Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
