you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You dont lie about slip and slides
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
