Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize