i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
