Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
