It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
