if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
