Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
