maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
