What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
