I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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