Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Enjoy the penises
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
