Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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