dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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