She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize