well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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