today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
