drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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