Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
