It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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