Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
