I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
