Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
