just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
