i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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