I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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