Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
