Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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