Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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