Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
