So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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